Monday 10 December 2007

No End In Sight - Charles Ferguson.


News is a bustling industry. Its success depends on the commercial relationship between truthfulness and popular taste. As Paul Simon observed many years ago
“I don’t believe what I read in the papers – they’re just out to capture my dime.’
Finding truthful sources of news is a skill of tremendous complexity requiring considerable investment in time and thoughtfulness. It’s the same with developing a capacity for interpreting news. At times of War such as these where British and American servicemen are dying in numbers, any news of the War is most likely to have been processed to suit the agenda of the governments involved.

And so what a pleasure it was to watch the work of Charles Ferguson. The acclaimed movie, ‘No end in sight’. I watched this movie because of its 8.6 ranking on IMDB. At the end of the movie, my first question was ‘Who paid for this’.

Charles Ferguson is a remarkable fellow. Amongst his many academic achievements lies the story of Vermeer technologies. A Software company he founded in 1994 and sold in 1996 for $133 Million. Unlike the example of so many of those suddenly possessed of a quick fortune, Charles Ferguson saw fit to finance a movie to provide an honest and reliable source of news on a matter that concerns us all, but especially those paying taxes to the American regime who have brought their Country into such spectacular disrepute.

I never understood the achievements of Messrs Rumsfeldt, Cheney, Wolfowitz and Bush with such clarity before watching this movie. Because the motivation in the delivery of this program is not commercial, but quite clearly based on an intelligent and informed desire to report objectively on matters of importance, the outcome is inspiring. The credibility of the author and his production skills in pacing the information evenly by clever choices of commentary and edits serves as an important reminder that we are living in the shadow of the worst atrocity by government office since Adolf saw fit to turn his fabulous nation against the Russians.

The American and British attacks on Iraq that have destroyed not only the entire cultural base of this ancient civilization, in the looting and burning of the museums and libraries containing artifacts and documents going back 7,000 years, but also directly causing what will eventually be shown as a death toll in the Millions.

There is little doubt that the war on Iraq will go down as the highest death count of any war since WW2. With every passing day hundreds of Iraqi’s, women, children, young and old are dying. Many there believe these are the lucky ones, spared from a life that is worse than death.

Through the intellectual and material benevolence of Charles Ferguson, you can inform yourself more reliably on the subject by watching NO END IN SIGHT.


The link is here.

Thursday 29 November 2007

Carroll Quigley


Here is a gift for you. A remarkable gift. The opportunity to read the works of Carroll Quigley. Historian and Philosopher extraordinaire. With the wonder of the Internet, you can now read his works for free.

Here are his three major books.

Tragedy and Hope.
The Anglo American Establishment
The Evolution of Civilizations.

Tuesday 27 November 2007

Celtic Inspiration


Happily my new album with Hugh Burns, CELTIC INSPIRATION is finding its feet in the big wide world.

The prestigious New Age reviewer - CYGNUS REVIEW - has included a nice review in the December issue.

My local coffee shop - Mada Cafe - play this album all the time, which is a good sign I think. Its been interesting hearing this music in the context of a listener rather than creator. Made me aware of just how complex the arrangements are to make it end up sounding so simple.

This album took around 6 Months to make. Hugh brought a collection of his fantastic nylon strung guitars. As ever his playing is quite magnificent. Celtic Inspiration is my 5th in the 'New Age Ambient' genre. It also includes a vocal by the legendary Alan Tarney, writer of 'Its so funny how we don't talk anymore', 'Orchard Road' and producer of 'Take on Me' by Aha. Charlotte's all time favorite song.

Swavek Zaks amazing daughter, ZOE ZAK, all of 17, was booked for what I suspect was her first professional session, to sing arranged vocal parts on two tracks. A feat she accomplished with tremendous dexterity and artfulness. Well worth checking out I think.

You can preview tracks on CD BABY

Or go to my store and just buy a copy HERE

Tuesday 20 November 2007

Charlie Morgans new studio

My business partner from Bridge Recordings, who is also known as a 'legendary' British drummer for his work with Phil Lynott, Gary Moore, Nik Kershaw, Kate Bush, Paul McCartney, Eros Ramazotti, Tina Turner and Pete Townshend, has moved to Nashville where he has set up a new studio.

If its anywhere near the standard that Charlie maintained in his time here, then its sure to be a great studio.

Check out the contact details
here. ManicDrums Studio.

And if you are making an album in Nashville, why not have a drum legend on your next album?

Charlie is the only person I know who has played a 90 minute stadium gig with a headline act (Billy Joel) without any rehearsal whatsoever and earned a standing ovation from the artist as well as the crowd.

Saturday 10 November 2007

Kaveh Golestan, Terry Lloyd and the Iran Iraq War.

Having recently neared the  end of my book about the South African Bush war, 'The Emergency Bouzouki Player'  I migrated from one conflict to enjoy learning about another, in this case after seeing  an outstanding ITN documentary by journalist Terry Lloyd about the Iran Iraq war. 

The Iran Iraq war, 1980 – 1988.

I have some insight into this particular conflict as I was good friends with Kaveh Golestan, the fabulous Iranian photographer who covered the Iran/Iraq war for many major publications including Time magazine.  Kaveh won many prestigious photography awards during this time. He would spend 6 months of the year in the war zone and 6 Months back in his Eton Terrace home, where I would join him and his lovely wife Hengameh for coffee, endless cigarettes and long conversations about the circumstances of his experiences on the Iranian front line. As a participant in war myself, I found our conversations to be especially insightful and rewarding. It was he who first made me aware of the Iranian military tactic of child sacrifice. Mothers so demented by the heady cocktail of Islamic belief and Nationalist rhetoric that they would drive their children to the front line to deliver them to certain death. Armed with only a small plastic key, a 'Paradise Key' which would assure them of entry to heaven.  Kaveh showed me incredible sequences of photos of mothers with faces aglow with pride and joy, the reason for which was revealed as being the moment they see their young child die in the name of Allah.

John Lloyds documentary reminded me of this phenomenon in conflict. At the stage in the war where both sides were reduced to a first world war style trench conflict, separated by a heavily mined no mans land, the Iranians faced a dilemma on how best to mount an attack on the Iraqi defensive line considering the minefield issue. With an arms embargo in place and without the means to produce their own minefield clearing vehicles they contrived an ingenious solution. One entirely unique to this time and place.

Word went out to Mothers across the land to bring their young children to the front line to become martyrs for Islam. Mothers arrived in droves bringing their young to serve Allah. Forming a human wave to walk across a mined no mans land, forcing the Iraqi gunners to shoot them, which would 'rot their souls' because Allah says you should not shoot children.

Thousands of children died in this way. Martyrs for Islam. The kids were issued with a 'Paradise' key before being sent off. The Ayatolah ordered 500,000 plastic keys from Taiwan for this exact purpose. These plastic keys were hung around the necks of the youngsters before they were sent out. This the Mullahs ensured all concerned would guarantee instant access to heaven the moment following the explosion. 

The Mullahs, aware that their knowledge of military tactics was non existent, but charged none the less with being supreme commanders under Allahs direct instruction, rejected conventional wisdom in their approach, With Gods guidance they contrived a creative new way to make the Iraqi soldiers feel bad about themselves.

The Human Wave.

As witnessed by Penthouse journalist Bob Cringely

'I took a taxi to the front, introduced myself to the local commander, who had gone, as I recall, to Iowa State, and spent a couple days waiting for the impending human wave attack. That attack was to be conducted primarily with 11-and 12-year-old boys as troops, nearly all of them unarmed. There were several thousand kids and their job was to rise out of the trench, praising Allah, run across No Man's Land, be killed by the Iraqi machine gunners, then go directly to Paradise, do not pass GO, do not collect 200 dinars. And that's exactly what happened in a battle lasting less than 10 minutes. None of the kids fired a shot or made it all the way to the other side. And when I asked the purpose of this exercise, I was told it was to demoralize the cowardly Iraqi soldiers.

Waiting those two nights for the attack was surreal. Some kids acted as though nothing was wrong while others cried and puked. But when the time came to praise Allah and enter Paradise, not a single boy tried to stay behind.'


In 1989 I was sitting in Kaveh’s splendid front room in Eton Terrace looking through a box of some 200 large black and white prints of his photos, detailing the minutiae of this horrendous illustration of the dire consequences of blind faith. ‘Total War’ as it has been described.

Kaveh famously was the first cameraman to send back pictures proving the Iraqis were using chemical weapons (Nerve gas) in the conflict. (Chemical and biological weapons were supplied to Saddam Hussein by his allies - the USA, as well as Britain, Italy and France. Having supplied these WMD's to Saddam, imagine Bush's surprise when none could be found to suit his political convenience.)

As I had scant knowledge of Islam and its ways at that time (The late 80’s) I was thrilled by the opportunity to be informed first hand by such a knowledgeable and articulate source. I remain amazed by how little seemingly erudite non Muslims know about Islam.

The box before me contained pictures Kaveh had chosen as the best of his 8 years covering the war. He had hoped to have them published as a coffee book style record of the conflict. Essentially this was his life’s work. He was visibly saddened to report to me that no one would publish. ‘No one want to know about this’ he told me. I was stunned. The pictures I saw that day were the most remarkable record of war that I had ever seen. Black and white imagery tells a tale that no words can fully describe.

I came away convinced that everyone should be given the opportunity to experience this powerfully impacting lesson on what War really means. And see the ineluctable connection between religion and war.  However it is clear to me that only those directly affected by war have any idea of the enormity of its horrors and perhaps for this reason there is little demand for promoting any insight into wars horrors.
I shared Kavehs disappointment as publisher after publisher rejected his work. No demand for the facts.  The book was never published and the war is largely forgotten.

Kaveh was also extremely knowledgeable on the Shia fundamentalist Ayatollah Khomeini. The man essentially responsible for creating the conditions in Iran that motivated US interest in removing him from power and leading to the Iraqi attack that started the Iran Iraq war.  It was he who declared the fatwa on Salman Rushdie. (another monumental pillar of Islamic credibility.)

Memorably Kaveh told me that this fellow, Mr Kohmeini, being extremely pious and knowing that food enjoyment was a sinful please,  lived on a diet of Onions and yogurt, surviving to the ripe old age of 88, before departing to join the 70 allotted virgins awaiting his attentions. Considering how long eternity is, I think 70 virgins is a pretty modest number. Lets face it, after 70 goes, you'd have to spend the rest of eternity without so much as a single virgin. And then again, imagine a smelly 80 year old breath, when never shiving, never brushing teeth and living on a diet of raw onions and yoghurt for thirty years. A good question for each of those virgins. "What was it attracted you to the Ayatollah?"

But again I digress. In 2003 I was watching news TV when I heard BBC reporter Kaveh Golestan was killed today in Iraq. I shed a tear at the tragic irony. He stood on a landmine. An Iranian killed standing on an Iraqi landmine after surviving 8 years of front line reporting the war.

And so, as I watched the remarkable documentary by Terry Lloyd I was reminded of this wonderful friendship from my past. I was particularly pleased to see that his journalism appeared to be true to the stories I recalled from Kaveh.  Especially the circumstances of American support for Iraq, motivated by anti Iran feeling.  To emphasise this resolve, in 1988, after Reagan announced to the World that ‘Iran will never be allowed to win this war’ American ship USS Vincennes fired on an Iranian airlines Boeing 737 killing all 290 people on board. I imagine this tatement of intent, that America would never allow Iran to win this war, along with the powerful US military support for Iraq sent a firm message to the Ayotollah. The war ended soon after the Iran Air incident.  (Eventually, long after the war ended, the US paid out 131 Million dollars compensation to those civilian victims without ever apologising.)

So moved was I by this fine body of work that I googled Terry Lloyd in order to contact him with congratulations.

Sadly in that search I learned that he too had died in Iraq. In March 2006, in suspicious circumstances.
‘Unlawfully killed’ by American bullets whilst reporting for ITN.  His death is, according to the National Union of Journalists, a war crime for which American soldiers should be brought to trial.
BBC article

I can almost hear President Bush explaining that one as ‘It will be a cold day in hell before we punish honest American Patriots for a small mistake like this. After all, this guy was not on our side.

So there you have it. I hope I have piqued your interest in finding out more about a conflict which holds many lessons for us, especially in light of the breakdown in relations between America and Iraq and the subsequent developments in Iran and indeed the world of Islam.

Has mankind ever contrived a more heinous weapon of War than Religion. Of course, those who ignore the mistakes of History are condemned to repeat them.

Here's a song I wrote about the Iranian boys - called THE PARADISE KEY

Wikipedia article

Wednesday 17 October 2007

Louis Ribeiro. 23 October 2007.

I am sad to report that Louis Ribeiro died today. He had been ill and in pain for some months, weakened by cancer. He held on just long enough to see his beloved 'Bokke' prevail in Paris on Saturday night before slipping into a coma from which he was released this morning with his wife Christine at his side.

A lovely musician and a gentle soul.

The Jive Nation Web Page

Thursday 11 October 2007

Who had Rugby thrown out of the Olympics?

Who holds the only gold medal for Rugby at the Olympic games?

With the World Cup semi between England and France looming, it is surely incumbent upon the English press to diminish the French by all means possible. This includes scouring the History books for stories of French Rugby's previous form. Here is my favorite Rugby tale.

Its 1924.

Rubgy is included in the Olympic games for the third games running. The final is to be in Paris, at the Stade Colombe. The finalists are France and America.

The American team comprises volunteers, mostly from Stanford University football and basketball teams. They have not played much Rugby before and the French expect the gold medal. The US team travel some 6,000 miles by boat to reach this game. In France prior to the match, every possible hardship is visited upon the American team. A TV crew documenting their progress is banned from the ground. The team are denied proper training facilities. They are banished to a local park where their personal belongings are promptly stolen as they train. They are roundly shunned and disrespected by every French person they come in contact with.

Matchday. 40,000 French fans fill the ground. Its the first final of the games and they expect the gold. They have sung their national anthem with tremendous vigor. They are proud to be French.

The Americans however are pissed off by the way they have been treated. They raise their game spectacularly and triumph. 17 - 3.

The French react badly. They start by knocking out Gideon Nelson, one of the American reserves, who is felled by a walking stick to the back of the head. The crowd then turn on the small pockets of American fans, beating them mercilessly. The heady brew of defeat and disappointment in the face of raging nationalism has turned the French crowd into a pack of rabid dogs. Broken American bodies are carried down to pitchside to be rushed to Hospital.

The star American player, Norman Cleaveland reported 'I thought they were dead. We were sure it was only a matter of time before they got to us.'

Rugby was thrown out of the Olympics.

Those who perpetuate the myth that 'rugby is a hooligans game played by gentlemen' should consider the French.

This incident may also help explain America's interest in the game of Rugby, despite being the only nation to hold double Olympic gold for Rugby. (America also won the Rubgy gold at the previous Olympics of 1920 in Antwerp, defeating France 8 - 0). America remain the Olympic champions of rugby, having never lost the gold.

Friday 28 September 2007

3 remarkable people. Joni, Kurt and Dmitry

Joni Mitchell has a new album. The title track SHINE is quite remarkable. While I was listening to this inspiring music, I came across two more remarkable people.

Kurt Knispel. Possibly the most remarkable tank warrior ever. 168 confirmed tank kills before dying in his Tiger Tank in 1945 aged just 23.

Kurt Knispel was born in 1922 in the former Sudetenland. He had a carefree childhood and grew up to be a broad shouldered lad of medium height, whose dark hair was always a little too long, something he would be chided for later in life.

After completing his apprenticeship in an automobile factory in 1940 Knispel applied to join the armored forces. For his basic training Knispel went to the Panzer Replacement Training Battalion at Sagan in Lower Silesia.

On 1 October 1940 (Aged 18) he was transferred to the 3rd Company of the 29th Panzer Regiment, 12th Panzer Div. Knispel completed his training as a loader and gunner in a Pz IV.

Knispel was gunner in Pz IV under Lt. Hellman at the time of Barbarossa, where he participated in the initial assault as part of Panzergruppe 3, LVII Army Corps (later LVII Panzer Corps) commanded by General Adolf Kuntzen. Knispel saw action from Yarzevo to the gates of Stalingrad, in the North around the Leningrad-Tikhvin area and also in the Caucasus under Mackensen.

Knispel returned to Putlos at the end of January 1943 and became familiar with the new Tiger tanks, at this time, Knispel was credited with 12 kills.(Aged 21)

From Putlos, a group of men was sent to 500th Panzer Battalion at Paderborn. This group was led by Oberfeldwebel Fedensack and included Kurt Knispel, it was to become the 1st Company of the elite 503rd Heavy Panzer Battalion, and fought at Kursk as flank cover to 7th PzDiv (Armee Abteilung Kempf). Knispel saw further action during the relief attack on the Cherkassy Pocket (a.k.a. Khorsun Pocket), Vinnitsa, Jampol, Kamenets-Podolsk. The Company re-equipped with Tiger IIs and fought around Caen and the retreat from Normandy. From there back to the Russian front and action around Mexotur, Tookszentmiklos, Cebled, Kekskemet, the Gran bridgehead, Gyula, Neutra, Bab Castle. (In one action, Knispel reports 24 enemy hits on his Tiger II), Laa and finally Wostitz, where he was killed in action.

With 168 (all confirmed, possibly as high as 195) kills, Kurt Knispel was by far the most successful tank soldier of the Second World War. He fought in virtually every type of tank as loader, gunner and commander. He was awarded the Iron Cross, First Class after destroying his fiftieth enemy tank and the Tank Assault Badge in Gold after far more than 100 tank battles. When Knispel had destroyed 126 enemy tanks (with another 20 unconfirmed kills) he was awarded the German Cross in Gold.

Kurt became the only non-commissioned officer of the German tank arm to be named in the Wehrmacht communique. As commander of a Tiger and then a King Tiger Knispel destroyed another 42 enemy tanks. This raised his total to 168 enemy tanks destroyed, making him by far the world's top "tank killer". Although it was richly deserved, he was never awarded the Knight's Cross although he was recommended four times. Possibly because his hair was too long and his appearance too scruffy.

And then theres the quite remarkable Russian, Dmitriy Lavrinenko.

Dmitry took his tank into battle 28 times, scoring 52 victories before he was killed defending Moscow in 1941. Aged 27.

In October of 1941 his T-34 destroyed 16 German tanks in a single combat.

What a shame Dmitry and Kurt never had lived in a time where a talent like Joni Mitchell might inspire them to direct their remarkable talents towards a higher purpose.

Thursday 20 September 2007

Farewell to 'Special J'. ( Jose Mourinho)

It came as no surprise to me to see Special J ousted from the Abramovich toy box. Two principal reasons. 1. He is not Israeli and 2. He is not willing to be an AA (Abramovich acolyte).

Special J brought Chelsea unprecedented success.

Abramovich brought Chelsea unprecedented revulsion amongst football fans.

As that great revealer, the passage of time, will surely show. Special J will continue making valued contributions to the game while Abramovich will enjoy ever increasing revulsion amongst all (Non Israeli) football fans for diminishing the beautiful game in the way that his 'Money is everything no matter where it came from and what was done to get it' philosophy, unsurprisingly, promotes.

Michel Platini's views should be considered here. (See his letter to Gordon Brown of yesterday... google 'Platini letter Brown').

How Frank, Terry, Joe Cole and the rest who enjoyed Special J's ways so abundantly can bring themselves to take orders from a trained Israeli soldier (What is Avram's personal count of dead Palestinians one should wonder) whilst playing alongside another trained killer, Ben Sahar, will decide the future of both their reputations (outside of Israel), as well as Chelsea's.

As Special J considers his In-Box this morning, one can imagine Barcelona, LA Galaxy and any other number of major players in World Football lining up to court his services.
When Avram leaves it is unlikely that there will be interest beyond Tel Aviv Rangers.

And what of Abramovich and Chelsea?

Are the Chelsea fans really that dumb?

Thursday 2 August 2007

Carbon Footprint

There are now no cars on Riverbank. Yes its true. Both cars were sold ten days ago. I now use a bicycle for transport. The advantages are obvious. Improved fitness and tremendous financial saving. The disadvantages are mostly to do with the weather. Cycling in a downpour is not fun.

My goal is to make it to the one Month mark without buying a car. And in this time my reduced carbon footprint will help redress the imbalance caused by the Chinese and their dreadful disregard for the environment.

Having no car has introduced us to the joys of home delivered online supermarket goods. And what a great discovery that has been.

Tuesday 29 May 2007

Maroon 5 and Mel Gibson

Over the weekend we had two new experiences. One was the new Maroon 5 album, received with keen interest after the superb songs on the first album suggested the emergence of a great talent. This album is Pants. Big girls pants. All girth and no lace. More sweat than perfume. In fact I feel wasting the 30 minutes of my listening time that it took to see this body of work for what it is will take some getting back from. All the band qualities that made the songs on the first album come to life are absent.

Instead we have a sorry array of production techniques by a number of very different and unconnected producers stamping their ego's over what turns out sounding like what the son of Prince and Michael Jackson would do if he was 3 years old, and stumbled into the room marked 'Daddy's crap songs of 80's groove music that never made it past the demo phase because they have no groove and no lyric and are crap.'

The best thing I can say about this experience is that if and when Maroon 5 ever release another album, I will not be conned out of a half hour of my listening life again.

Then theres Mel Gibson. We sat down to watch his movie APOCALYPTO with some trepidation. Forewarned that we were in store for a blood fest featuring a cast of unknown Indians and Mexicans, and without a word of English being spoken. Some three hours later I stood up to applaud the masterwork by Mr Gibson, who has undoubtedly achieved a level of excellence quite rare in this throw away entertainment industry.


So - in conclusion. Avoid Maroon 5 (Unless you have issues with Bulimia that prohibit the use of fingers in the mouth) and make sure you get to see APOCALYPTO.

Wednesday 25 April 2007

The Olver Mothers

Zara Olver, 21, her 48-year-old mother Carole, and sisters Serenza Olver, 29, and Danielle Olver, 19 were all round Zaras place. Her two kids, a boy of 2 and a girl of 3 were in the room. Whereupon the 4 adults present encouraged the children to attack each other. Motivated I suspect by boredom.

Toddler fight.

The girl was made to smack the boy in the face. He cried. They shouted at him to smack her back. The adults were royally entertained. Better than raising fighting dogs, and cheaper. One threw a hair brush into the fight to encourage a participant to use it as a weapon.

The women video taped the amusing and entertaining spectacle. Laughing and shouting encouragement on the video as the fight progressed. 'Hit her in the face you wimp.' Both children appeared extremely traumatised in the video.

The childrens father - a soldier - serving in Iraq, returned home on leave. Saw the vidio and called in social services. Faced with the criminal nature of their behaviour, the women said they saw nothing wrong with 'toughening up' the kids.

The judge sentenced them to 12 Months each for child cruelty -suspended. The children were placed in the care of the Fathers Mother.

Zara, Serenza, Danielle and their mum Carol see nothing wrong with their behavior.

So truth is what you choose to believe. And ignorance is king in the house of Olver.

Did the Judge get that one right I wonder.

Thursday 12 April 2007

My Space

Due to unprecedented public demand, I have now put a few songs onto a myspace account.

Listen here

Tuesday 3 April 2007

Israeli/American attack on Iran.

I have received an extraordinary number of emails today - suggesting that a Nuclear attack on Iran is imminent. The prevailing thinking in these e-mails can be summarised in these points:
  • The 15 British sailors currently under arrest in Teheran. This prepares the British public for adjusting their thinking to an American/Israeli attack on Iran as being justified. Saving our own is a noble cause.
  • The chain-smoking single mom sailor - LEADING SEAMAN FAYE TURNEY (26) was interviewed by the BBC hours before her arrest. Suggesting some advance knowledge of events.
  • Huge resources, warships such as the USS John C. Stennis, a Carrier of such staggering might that the Gods themselves would tremble at her thundering Horn, are moving into convenient positioning for a strike on Iran.
    http://www.cvn74.navy.mil/operationIngulf_27Mar07.html

  • Americans Christians would not accept another batch of body bags coming back from the Middle East. Ground offensive resources would not be sufficient without a draft. A draft would end Bush’s ongoing popularity with Middle America. So, the only way forward is a nuclear strike.
  • Tony’s hopes of being remembered as a great leader – especially in this time of Thatcher praising for her fine warmongery in the 80’s, seem destined for dashing on the rocks of his broken Iraqi dreams. Its Tony’s last chance saloon for spectacular success in War.
  • Israeli concerns over Iran's nuclear advances demand a characteristic reaction.
Although these various points do suggest a trend, I for one do not think that President Bush would risk his considerable reputation by becoming only the second US President to use Nuclear weapons against a foe. Not yet anyhow.


Andrew. 3 April,07.

Thursday 29 March 2007

Cooper Thames Ditton

Last week I took my car for a routine service to BMW to Cooper Thames Ditton. The service was disgusting. A 300 pound routine service bumped up to 800 pounds with sundries like - 125 pounds to change the coolant. Generally shocking experience, topped off by fact that the central locking was not working after the service.

I wrote to BMW. And they agreed to fix the damage they had done. I dropped the car off as agreed, and went to collect it when called. The car had been damaged. Hit by another car during the night on the BMW forecourt. The Coopers supervisor said they would 'sort it out'. The next day Bernie Smythe called from Coopers to say 'Yes it was hit on our forecourt, but as we had not checked the car in we are not liable, so sort it out yourself.'

If you are considering buying a BMW, or having your BMW services by Cooper Thames Ditton you may wish to watch developments in this matter. My letter to BMW is copied below.

29 March 2007.
Cooper Thames Ditton.

Dear Sir,

Further to my last letter of 21 March 2007, I write as follows:

1. The matters raised within the above letter were further discussed in a telephone call from your office on 22 March. Amongst other things, we agreed that I would return the car in order for the door lock to be looked at again as it had not been properly fixed on the first visit to your garage.

2. We agreed that I would leave the car (as had happened previously) on your forecourt the evening before and the keys left in the deposit box.

3. On Monday night at approximately 7.30pm, I parked the car on your forecourt as instructed. I deposited the keys through the security slot into the care of BMW Thames Ditton. The car was therefore within your custody and control from that point.

4. On Tuesday 27th March 2007, I came to collect the car. I noted that:

(i) The passenger door lock issue that I was previously charged £40 to inspect - was repaired - however I was charged a further £146.00, apparently representing 50% of the labour charge. This would mean that the normal labour charge would have been £300, which I find hard to believe.

(ii) The car was not cleaned despite you having advised me that it had been.

(iii) There was a substantial and noticeable dent on the driver side. I pointed this out to the attending mechanic. He told me that it was there when the car was checked in. I assured him it was not there when I left the vehicle. The supervisor was called and both he and the mechanic looked at the car and told me they would establish who damaged the vehicle by CCTV. The supervisor assured me, ‘not to worry, we will take care of it.’ On that basis I left with my car.

7. On Wednesday 28th March, I received a call from ‘Bernie Smythe.’ He advised me that you had established that the vehicle was indeed damaged whilst parked on your forecourt in advance of the service. He told me that you had identified the offending vehicle, however because you had not signed the vehicle in, the damage is not your responsibility.

8. I felt his tone throughout the conversation was supercilious, and aggressive. I pointed out to him that I had parked the car where instructed, and I had left the keys in the drop box as agreed with yourselves. I suggested that it appeared to me that Cooper Thames Ditton were simply fobbing off a problem with no regard for the customer. To this he said nothing. I then told him that I was deeply unsatisfied with this explanation, and unless he reviewed his position, my next call would be to my solicitor. To which he replied.

“Good, well off you go then.”

To recap:

I brought my car in for a service and it was damaged whilst in your care and control. I was told that you would take care of the damage however instead I was subjected to a telephone call from Mr Smythe, whose competence in customer relations must be considered grievously inadequate, telling me that your company are having nothing to do with the incident. I find this insulting, and a sorry reflection on the prevailing management policy at Coopers Thames Ditton.

I do not believe your cavalier disregard for BMWs reputation as demonstrated by your representative Mr Bernie Smythe should pass unchallenged.

Before I conclude my report to Jim O’Donell, I will await your comments for inclusion.

Yours sincerely,

Andrew Brel.

English Footballers

After last nights debacle, a glaring truth becomes obvious.
English footballers are thick.
Not thick as in 'excuse me, how do I tie a shoe lace' but seriously thick.

Perhaps the massive earnings these lads are subject to at such an early age contributes towards a delusional sense of self importance whereby the need to develop a brain that works is lost to the need to buy a better baby Bentley than Blackburns Bentley.

When a team of amateurs like Andorra can play 11 men who match Englands 11, as was the case last night, certainly for the first half, an explanation is required.

The way forward for English football lies in the head. Players displaying the stupidity of an Ashley Cole for instance should be forcibly taught to read and write, no matter how determined their resistance.

One can only speculate on whether the total collective IQ of the England team would exceed triple figures.

Thank you Ronnie Johnson for pointing out the achilles heel of English football.

Wednesday 28 March 2007

Riverbank News

Yes its true. This is my blog, where I will be posting details of conditions here on the Riverbank.