Greek Embassy performance

Appointments manager page on Embassy web site. Note the Passport booking option is NOT AVAILABLE.

Every 5 years for the past 25 years I renew my Greek passport at the embassy in Holland Park. The performance of the civil servants tasked with running the embassy provides an interesting and accurate insight into the workings of Greece's Government.
Last time, 5 years ago in 2006, performance reached an all time low.  Let me run you through the experience.
With passport photos and supporting documents at the ready - drive to Holland Park and park in the £4 per hour parking. Then stand in queue for three hours until you get to the counter. Civil servant then looks at your passport photos and says 'These are wrong. You need to have them done according to this document. Come back when you have done it.'
That is visit number 1 done. Cost in parking and petrol £25.

Visit number 2 - three days later with new passport pics.
Drive to Holland Park and park in the £4 per hour parking. Then stand in queue for three hours until you get to the counter. Civil servant then looks at your documents and says "The pistopitiko requirements have changed. You need to go back to your home village of registration and have them issue a new original document.'
My home village of registration is Adamas in Milos. Several thousand miles away.
That is visit number 2 done. Cost in parking and petrol £25.

Visit number 3 - ten days later with new pistopitiko acquired through the generous efforts of my Uncle in Athens.
Drive to Holland Park and park in the £4 per hour parking. Then stand in queue for three hours until you get to the counter. Civil servant then looks at your documents and says '.........

OK - let me speed this process up.....

Visit number 3 led to visit number 4. Visit number 4 led to visit number 5. Visit number 5 led to visit number 6. Visit number 6 led to visit number 7. Visit number 7 led to visit number 8.  By now two Months have passed.

Visit number 8 led to visit number 9. Visit number 9 led to visit number 10. At visit number 10 an old man in front of me, said 'This is my 5th visit here. Why are you doing this to me. I am 80 years old. You should be ashamed of yourselves.' I was quite hopeful then that this would be my last visit. I was so close to the new passport I could almost taste it. But no. Visit number 10 led to visit number 11. After visit number 11, I almost wished I would not conclude the process at visit number 12. I had by now become institutionalized by the process.

Four Months had passed and without my participation in this all consuming theatre of living surrealism, I felt any prospect of a return to normal life would leave me somehow diminished. Fortunately, visit 12 turned up another requirement, although the official did say to me 'I think we have everything now. So when we call you next, it will be to collect your passport.' 

And so, on to visit 13. Some 5 Months after visit one, I parked up in Holland Park and stood in the three hour queue for what I hoped would be the last time. While there I did the maths. Average of 25 pounds per visit in parking alone for 13 visits totals £325. Petrol from Hampton Court to Holland Park - say £10 per visit. Another £130. Average five hours of my time per visit for thirteen visits plus stressful worry time along the way is of course an immeasurable quantity. But all these thoughts paled in that moment when, after keeping me waiting in a chair outside an office for an hour and five minutes, I was called in to sign a document and take away my new passport.

When I got home I wrote an e mail to my uncle in Greece, the one who helped me with the paperwork and who lives in Athens, in which I said 'No Government represented by this level of inefficiency and gross incompetence can hope to survive the economic consequences of such horrific wastefulness. This is beaurocracy out of all control and out of all reason. The idea that this system can survive is ridiculous. It is only a matter of time until it all comes tumbling down."

Five years have passed and I am now back at the Greek Embassy position for passport renewal.
Things have changed - in many ways.
The passport renewal process is now 'by appointment only'. How thrilled was I to see this on the website? Very. Off I went to the form to make my appointment.  There is no other way of making an appointment than by the 'Appointment manager' software on the Embassy site. 'Click on the date you ant for the appointment it said. Off I went to the page. But wait. There is no option available. 'There must be some mistake' I thought to myself.
Sadly not. No mistake. The Greek Embassy in London - whose job it is to issue Greek Passports renewed in London has NO available option for providing this service.

I e-mailed the embassy with this astonishing news and the reply read '.... please visit our website www.greekembassy.org.uk  to arrange your appointment and to check the required documents. In case that you can not see on our website available appointments, this is because all the appointment until the end of  January are booked. However , there are many cancellations( when one happens , the option becomes bold  and below you can see the date and time slot,) , so we believe that soon you will be able  to find an availability.'

And so - every day I log on - fill out the form and check. Nothing to see here. 

Sigh.

I will report back with progress - but I fear, like Greece's prospects for sensible Governance, I may be gone for some time. 
 

.............

UPDATE: 27 November, 2011. No further news from the Greek embassy.